"Connect & Redirect": Whole-Brain Strategy 1 of 12

Source: The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Bryson, pg. 15-27

As you probably know, our brains are divided into two hemispheres that function very differently.  Your left-brain loves order…it is logical, literal, linguistic, and linear.  Your right-brain cares about the meaning and feeling of an experience and specializes in emotions.  So while your left-brain loves words and putting things in a sequence, your right-brain is focused on facial expression, eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures.  To put it another way the left-brain cares about the letter of the law, while the right brain is all about the spirit of the law.

For a child’s first three years of life they are right-brain dominate.  Once they start asking “Why?” you know that the logical side is starting to kick in!  Though keep in mind that our brains are not fully developed until we are in our mid-20s!

Now, all parents experience times when their children say things and get upset about issues that don’t seem to make any sense (operating out of their right-brain).  When this happens it can be very frustrating, especially when you expect your child to be old enough to act rationally.  However, out of the blue he/she becomes upset about something ridiculous, and no amount of reasoning (operating out of your left-brain) on your part will help.  In fact, if you use a left-brain, logical response to your child’s wave of right-brain emotion you will create a lose-lose situation. 

When this occurs use the “Connect and Redirect” technique.  Use your right-brain to connect with the child’s right-brain by pulling your child close, rubbing his/her back, and with a nurturing tone of voice identifying with the emotion the child is experiencing.  Ask supportive questions that prompt the child to explain his/her feelings and as you hold the child through this and listen you will feel the child’s body relax.  This is connecting and this helps the child bring his/her brain into balance.  With the child now feeling heard and cared for you can address the specific issues he/she brought up, as the child will now be more receptive to problem solving…this is redirecting.  

By understanding how your child’s brain works, you can create cooperation much quicker and with less drama!  Just remember that by first connecting right-brain to right-brain you will be able to more easily connect left to left and deal with the issue in a rational manner.

* When a child is upset, logic often won’t work until we have responded to the right brain’s emotional needs. 

The Whole-Brain Child: How To Nurture A Child's Developing Mind (adults feel free to use the strategies too!!)

When my public library branch did not have the book I intended to check out last week I began looking at book covers…something that makes me relatively uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as leaving the library empty-handed.  I decided on “The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind”.  Written by neuropsychiatrist and bestselling author, Daniel J. Siegel, along with parenting expert, Tina Payne Bryson, it clearly explains 12 strategies to help you “cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development in children, so that they may lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives”.  I am half way through the book and 100% convinced that the strategies they teach, all of which are based on the science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures, can ensure that parents, teachers, and other adults are not only surviving everyday struggles with children, but helping the family unit, class, & larger community thrive!

What I love most about this these strategies is that they do not require adults to designate specific time each day or each week to help children thrive.  Instead, you use ALL of the interactions you have with children (from the most angry to the most adorable) to help them become caring, compassionate, responsible, hard working people, who feel great about themselves.  It’s all about using everyday moments to help children reach their true potential.

As I continue the 6-part series on the benefits of massage for different age groups, I will also begin a 12-part series summarizing the 12 strategies outlined in “The Whole-Brain Child".  Throughout this series you will learn simple techniques to integrate a child's left & right brain, upstairs & downstairs brain, memory, many parts of the self, and self with others.  Read along, apply the strategies, and turn any “outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth.” 

10 Empowering Things To Say To A Child

written by The Joyful Mother ~ Sigrid Kjeldsen

Are you conscious of how you speak to your child and the content of that communication? Most of us are not. We rush about our day, getting sucked into the doings of life. Sound familiar? There is nothing wrong with a busy life full of fun and rewarding activities! But what tends to happen is that from this place we simply react to the things, people and circumstances around us. 

As we get more conscious of our thoughts and feelings, our actions reflect this and we are able to steer and control our inner world to make our outer world feel great!

What if you could have 10 powerful statements that could help bring presence, love and empathy into your relationship with your child? I see these statements and questions below as a simple vitamin injection in the life of you and your child!

  

1. I believe in you

This is one of the most powerful things you can say to a child. It tells them you SEE them. 

2. What do you think you should do?

This was one of the things my father used to say to me often. It empowered me to find solutions for myself.

3. I trust you

This is a powerful one for instilling a sense of responsibility and independence in your child

4. If you believe you can do something, you can!

If you teach a child to use his mind to create his reality at an early age, your child will grown in confidence and begin to develop a true sense of empowerment.

5. What do you think?

This one throws the decision making into the family arena - deciding as a group on something gives everyone ownership to the final decision. It also makes them feel important.

6. What do you need right now?

I use this one a lot to cut through emotional turmoil and get to the root of a problem. Sometimes they don't know what they need, but the more you ask this question the more they will!

7. Just feel it, its ok...

A lot of the time, as parents, we want to support our kids by making the bad feelings go away. I try to help my children really feel an emotion. As children learn to do this they become more familiar with their emotional ranges and it allows them to see that emotions come and go - that they are in charge of how they feel. 

8.  What can you do to help?

This is a question that simply inspires kids to think about helping others in need. Kids sometimes may need help thinking past their own needs and desires, this one gets them thinking outside of that box.

9. What are 3 words that best describes you?

This questions helps your child begin to cultivate self insight and also lets them know you are curious about who they are!

10. I love you...

Ok, you knew this one was coming! Most of us do this, but how often do you say these three simple words and really mean it? Also, sometimes saying it less often can make these words really feel meaningful when they are said!

For each of these statements or questions, the key to them being empowering is how much HEART and PRESENCE you put into them - how you show up WITHOUT words. 

Helping Children Grow Into Smart READERS!

Storytime Yoga is an opportunity for your child to acquire listening, oral and literary skills, in addition to body-awareness and character education in a fun way that stimulates self-reflection & awareness, while they bring their bodies into harmony with the environment.  The result is mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy children who are peaceful and literate!! 

Massage Series Part 3 of 6: Benefits of Massage for Teenagers

Adolesence is one of the most turbulent stages of our lives. During this dynamic period, teenagers are often self-conscious and shy of their bodies as they transition from being a child to an adult, requiring education and feedback to build self-esteem.  While teens may be reluctant to get or give a massage, there are plenty of reasons why this age group should be encouraged to give it a try.

Massage during the teen years helps a young adult understand and accept healthy nurturing touch, manage stress, reduce the impact of emotional/hormonal transitions, relieve muscle tension, improve immune function, experience heightened concentration, and improve sleep and study patterns.  Actually, massage at any age results in many of those same benefits…but for teens there is an added payback!

TEENAGE TRANSITIONS

The teenage body is in the midst of transformation -- exponential growth and development in a rapid period of time.  On the physical side, teens may be at increased risk for aches, pains, and injury.  Many teens strain their bodies with competitive sports, get erratic sleep, and consume a less-than-optimal diet.  Massage can help muscles recover from overuse, and help balance the body and maintain that stability.  This bodywork has also been proven to help mediate eating disorders, a growing concern among teens.  

IMPROVED BODY IMAGE

Bombarded by messages from the media, peers and even their parents about their bodies, adolescents can be confused about healthy body images. Home massage takes the focus away from how they look and teaches them the importance of being aware of how their body feels.  Even as a teen’s body changes in awkward ways massage helps teens stay grounded and connected to their bodies.

STRESS

Hormonal pressures, parental expectations, peer pressure and overloaded schedules create stress for teenagers. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers. Home massage can be invaluable for teenagers to reduce stress & anxiety, lift depression and relax their mind, body and spirit.

CONNECTING WITH YOUR TEEN

Adolescents crave intimacy but often look for it in the wrong places. If they experience touch in the home through the natural connection of massage, they are not as likely to seek dangerous and unhealthy avenues for emotional and physical contact.

Class Time Change for 3-6 year olds!

Beginning Tuesday, October 16, 2012 the Tues/Thur 3-6 year old class @ Bliss Yoga Shala (1615 Thacker Avenue, Jacksonville, FL) will move from 11-12 to 3:00pm-3:55pm!  Hoping this change will accommodate ½ day preschoolers and more home school children!  Also, the 7-12 year old class will now begin at 4:05pm, instead of 4.  Spread the word J

Massage Series Part 2 of 6: Benefits of Massage for Children

In the first part to this six part series on massage I focused on the benefits that infants enjoy as a result of regular massage.  This second part looks at why it is important to massage children who are no longer infants. 

Our lifestyles today are largely lacking in quality family time and as a result we are touching each other less.  The ancient practice of massage can serve to reaffirm a close bond with each other, including our children, and to convey a comforting sense of security and trust.

Every child, no matter the age, should be massaged on a regular basis.  Ultimately, it is best to develop a daily routine, probably at bedtime, that includes 15-minute massage. 

Touch is the first sense to develop in humans. It is essential to our health and well-being.  Children who learn healthy views of touch and are provided with positive tactile experience by their caregivers are more likely to grow up to be adults with healthy self-esteem, a sense of appropriate boundaries and long-lasting intimate relationships.

Massage is a wonderful stress-buster for children.  Though we often think of adults when we hear the word ‘stress,’ there are many situations in which children experience stress as well: starting school for the first time; going to a new school; death of a relative; financial problems in the home; parents fighting; even vacation!  During emotional upsets massage can soothe children.  It can also relieve the discomforts of illness.  In fact, when stress is reduced stress hormones are also reduced, which in turn allows the immune system to bounce back and work effectively.  Massage can help ease the pain of tension headaches and muscle aches or cramps. 

Children who are massaged regularly also exhibit healthier behavior.  They are happier, calmer, more relaxed, and maintain a better mood!  Children diagnosed with attention deficit disorder or hyperactivity who receive massage often concentrate better, cry less, and sleep better. 

With infants, a gentle gliding stroke is applied to the body, but as the child grows older, the massage may become more sophisticated to include work on the feet, fingers and toes, and use of more extensive types of strokes and techniques.  At this age the child will still be comfortable receiving massages from their caregiver. 

My next post will focus on massage for teenagers…who often prefer to be massaged by a therapist, as oppose to a caregiver. 

Benefits of Healthy Breathing Habits

At the beginning of every Story and Stretch class my monkey puppet, Wanamisi, teaches the children a variety of beneficial breathing techniques for both on and off the mat, as well as how our breath affects our lives. 

The following are some of the fun, interesting, and surprising facts about breath that your child may learn from Miss Wanamisi:

* The nose has a 4-stage filtration system. By breathing into the mouth we go straight to stage 4. This easily results in sore throats, tonsillitis, and even ear infections!

* Over time, breathing through the mouth can shrink the jaw.  This results in crooked teeth, which translates into a relapse after having braces removed!

* Breathing through the mouth is one cause for children developing a lisp when they talk.

* The urge to urinate during the night is likely due to breathing with the mouth open.  When we breathe through our mouths our bladders shrink, resulting in more trips to the bathroom!

* The more breaths you take the hungrier you will be & the more acidic your body will become.

* You should exercise to the intensity that you can keep your mouth closed.

* Asthma is mostly misdiagnosed. It is often hereditary, and if you’re born with it, you will have it for life – however, through a breathing program and a change in external factors you can potentially be inhaler and steroid free for the remainder of your life!

* We naturally change sides in our sleep approximately every 30 minutes, and this is mostly due to the balancing of the breath through each of the nostrils.

* If the lungs were open flat they would cover the size of a tennis court!

* Breathing properly eases physical tension by relaxing your muscles.  When this happens your blood vessels dilate allowing your blood pressure to return to a normal level.  

* Long, slow, deep breaths allow fresh oxygen to pour into every cell in your body.  This improves the functionality of every system in your body...digestive system, immune system, nervous system, respiratory system, lymphatic system, etc.

* Long, slow, deep breaths improve your mental concentration and physical stamina.  It also triggers the release of endorphins, which improve your feelings of we-being and relieves pain!  

* Healthy breathing habits encourage the release of harmful toxins stuck in your body.  By cleansing the body in this manner you are able to direct more energy to other bodily functions.  

Massage Series Part 1 of 6: Benefits of Massage for Infants

This post is the beginning of a series on the benefits of massage for different age groups.  Naturally, I am beginning with infants…

“As a parent, loving relative, or caregiver of an infant, you want to see your child flourish.  Touch is one of the most important requirements for healthy development – a fact supported by both ancient tradition and contemporary research.  Massage is attentive, pleasurable touch that can promote your baby’s well-being while increasing your ability to respond to his or her needs.

The special touch of massage is remarkable in its ability to enhance a child’s comfort.  Babies who are massaged sleep better, and are calmer and more alert when awake.  Massage stimulates digestion and elimination.  It can also reduce the discomfort of teething and colds, and help calm fussy babies. 

In addition, bonding is enhanced with massage.  Responding to your baby’s smiles, frowns and squirms with sensitive touch, eye contact, soothing sounds and loving communication can reinforce trust for years to come.

Studies Confirm…

The positive effects of infant massage have been well-researched by organizations such as UNICEF and the University of Miami School of Medicine.  They have found:

* Children and infants who were massaged showed significantly reduced stress indicators such as heart rate and stress hormone levels.

* Infants who received extra touch developed visual attentiveness earlier than babies who didn’t.  Visually impaired babies whose parents touched them early and often were able to reach toward sounds sooner than other babies.

* Premature babies who were regularly massaged gained weight faster, acquired mental and motor skills earlier, and were more relaxed than non-massaged babies.

* For drug-exposed infants, massaged helped increase weight gain, and relieved both tension and pain.  

Benefits for YOU…

Giving massage can build your confidence in caring for your baby.  You may feel more satisfied with the quality of time you spend with your infant and with your increased ability to help your child relax in times of stress. You may even find your own tension eased as you perform the gentle movements."

- Natural Touch Marketing 

NEW SATURDAY Storytime Yoga Class @ Bliss Yoga Shala, Jacksonville, FL

Beginning Saturday, September 22^nd a Storytime Yoga class will be offered at Bliss Yoga Shala (1615 Thacker Avenue, Jacksonville, FL).  This class will take place from 3pm-4pm and is open to children ages 3-12!  Sign your child(ren) up and watch the transformation of awareness, breathe, posture, flexibility, strength, concentration, creativity, character development and more!  See you soon!!  

Let the Children Play, It's Good for Them!

A leading researcher in the field of cognitive development says when children pretend, they’re not just being silly—they’re doing science

• By Alison Gopnik
• Smithsonian magazine, July-August 2012

Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/Let-the-Children-Play-Its-Good-for-Them.html#ixzz25Uye65oC

Walk into any preschool and you’ll find toddling superheroes battling imaginary monsters. We take it for granted that young children play and, especially, pretend. Why do they spend so much time in fantasy worlds?

People have suspected that play helps children learn, but until recently there was little research that showed this or explained why it might be true. In my lab at the University of California at Berkeley, we’ve been trying to explain how very young children can learn so much so quickly, and we’ve developed a new scientific approach to children’s learning.

Where does pretending come in? It relates to what philosophers call “counterfactual” thinking, like Einstein wondering what would happen if a train went at the speed of light.

In one study, my student Daphna Buchsbaum introduced 3- and 4-year-olds to a stuffed monkey and a musical toy and told them, “It’s Monkey’s birthday, and this is a birthday machine we can use to sing to Monkey. It plays “Happy Birthday” when you put a zando” (a funny-looking object) “on it like this.” Then she held up a different object and explained that it wasn’t a zando and therefore wouldn’t make the music play. Then she asked some tricky counterfactual questions: “If this zando wasn’t a zando, would the machine play music or not?” What if the non-zando was a zando? About half the 3-year-olds answered correctly.

Then a confederate took away the toys and Daphna said, “We could just pretend that this box is the machine and that this block is a zando and this other one isn’t. Let’s put the blocks on the machine. What will happen next?” About half said the pretend zando made pretend music, while the pretend non-zando did nothing (well, pretend nothing, which is quite a concept even if you’re older than 3).

We found children who were better at pretending could reason better about counterfactuals—they were better at thinking about different possibilities. And thinking about possibilities plays a crucial role in the latest understanding about how children learn. The idea is that children at play are like pint-sized scientists testing theories. They imagine ways the world could work and predict the pattern of data that would follow if their theories were true, and then compare that pattern with the pattern they actually see. Even toddlers turn out to be smarter than we would have thought if we ask them the right questions in the right way.

Play is under pressure right now, as parents and policymakers try to make preschools more like schools. But pretend play is not only important for kids; it’s a crucial part of what makes all humans so smart.

How To Help Kids Stay Longer In Yoga Poses

There’s lots of ways to help kids stay in yoga poses longer

by Gopala Amir Yaffe, Rainbow Kids Yoga

The benefits of the Yoga Poses increase as you stay longer in them.  But staying for a long time in the poses is not easy for kids simply because, for them, it is totally boring… unless you do some of the following:

Counting

You can count to 10 when you bake a Yoga Pizza (Seated Forward Bend with legs apart), when you go under a yoga tunnel with your imaginary car while in the Yoga Bridge Pose, count down to launching a Yoga Spaceship (Chair Pose with hands raised)… or you can even count really, really slowly when you are in a Yoga Tortoise.

 Singing

This is simply the best for younger kids!  Try to find a song for every single pose. You can always invent songs on the spot–the kids wouldn’t know if you can’t carry a tune!

 Sound effects and animal sounds

It can make the same pose be a totally different animal or object, and it definitely makes everything much more interesting, exciting, and fun!

 Balancing animal toys on the head/ back/ arms/ legs/ tummies while in yoga poses

You’ll need to stay still so they won’t fall down!

 Telling interesting facts about animals or objects/ cultures/ countries

Sometimes the kids will know more about it than you, and you can all share facts and discuss it – all while you keep holding the pose!  Older kids will also be interested to hear about the amazing body they live in.

 Saying faster/ higher/ more/ one more / again!

If you are in a Traveling Pose, you can tell the kids “Faster!  The _____ (place) is very far!  We’ll never get there if we keep going that slow!”  In the Sun Dance (Sun Salutation), you can say “One more time, this time double speed!”  While doing the Candle Pose (Shoulder Stand) you might want to guide them “Higher!  Try to reach the ceiling with your toes!”.

 Interaction between the kids

Spice it up!  Some kids can be Yoga Tables while the others sit around them in Yoga chairs for dinner.  Yoga Flowers and buzzing bees, Yoga Down Dogs and dog owners, Yoga Animals and Zoo Keepers, Yoga Trees and Yoga Monkeys and Yoga Bananas are all great options.  Any partner yoga pose or group interaction will help the kids to do the poses for longer.  It’s always more fun to do yoga together!

 Depending on each other

You can practice relaxation with each kid resting their head on the belly of the person before them (we call it Anaconda Snake Relaxation), or try having some of the kids go under a tunnel made out of Down Dog Poses or crawl under any other pose.  If a kid moves out of the pose, they will destroy it for everyone; it’s a great way to learn how interdependent we are.

 Using props

You can pass a ball from one to another while staying standing in Yoga Tree or in any other pose, slide a ball down all the Yoga Slides (Incline Plane Pose), hold an umbrella while in the Dancer Pose, wear a crown and hold a wand while in the Yoga Prince or Princess (Chair Pose), put a table cloth (can be a yoga mat) or plastic plates and cups on a Yoga Table, or be covered by a blanket during relaxation… This little flare makes the pose much more engaging!

Petting animals

The kids love it!  Go around and pat all the Yoga Dogs or Yoga Bunnies and tell them how cute they are, or that they are a good dog.   The kids are sure to stay still in the pose waiting for their turn to be patted.

Taking pictures

You can do it with an imaginary camera, or a real one.  The kids need to stay still in the poses for you to take a good picture!

Making it varied and interesting

Lighting all the Yoga Candles and blowing them out, watering Yoga Flowers or Yoga Seeds (Child Pose) that will slowly grow into trees, checking how steady the Yoga Mountains are by gently pushing them to test their stability, fixing Yoga Tables and Chairs, riding Yoga Bicycles upside down in the Shoulder Stand and then continuing to walk and run and surf and snowboard and rollerblade, and skateboard a jump and hop and skip all on the ceiling or sky! …and all while staying in the Shoulder Stand!

 Combining poses

Start in Yoga Tree, for example, and then have an eagle in the tree (or a butterfly, owl, or even an elephant) just by changing your hand positions… and all the while staying steady in the Tree Pose!  In the same way you can have not just a Warrior 1 and 2 and 3, but also warrior 4 and 5 and even 10… all while you keep holding the same basic pose.

Poses Story

Make up, or let the kids make up, a Yoga Story and have the kids stay in a certain pose until the next Yoga Animal or Yoga Object come up in the story.  If the story is interesting enough, it will motivate the kids to stay in the pose.  You can even make a rule that the storyteller can only tell his or her story while everyone is in a pose.

 Yoga Freeze

With or without music that you pause, freeze for as long as you can in different poses.  You can call out names of specific poses, or let the kids choose poses one at a time by calling out their names, or give more general instructions like “Freeze in a pose that will make you stand on one leg” or “Freeze in your favorite pose.”

You can also play the freeze game in a more creative way by turning the kids’ “switches” on and off, or pressing on their “buttons.”  When the “switch” is on the kids can move all around the classroom in any way they want, but when you turn them off they have to freeze in a yoga pose.  They can’t move until you switch them back on.

Another way to play is to be a Yoga Wizard who turns the kids into Yoga Animals or Yoga Statues where they will be frozen forever! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha (evil laugh)!

 The real point here is that you must make it interesting if you want the kids to stay in the poses…or even do them at all.  If your class is boring, the yoga class simply won’t happen.  Either the kids will not come to the class, if they have the choice, and there won’t be a class; or they will disturb your class, and you won’t be able to teach.  Be smart – be FUN!

Source: http://theyogalunchbox.co.nz/2012/08/14/how-to-help-the-kids-stay-longer-in-poses/